My whole life is a joke. Literally. The only reason I was ever born is because my grandmother cracked a joke that there was no way my mother’s twelfth child would be born in Bolivia. Trust my parents to travel half of the Earth just to prove her wrong.

My name is Olivia Solivia, and I’m from Bolivia (see what I mean?) My parents thought it was hilarious to give their youngest child a name rhyming with the place my mom gave birth to me, which is because they didn’t have to survive middle school where they had to hear everyone sing “There’s a girl named Oliviaaaaa and she’s from Boliviaaaaa” wherever they went. Trust me, if they had, my life would be at least 40% better.

Anyway, I have around eleven elder sisters (I don’t keep count), all of whom have a crazy obsession over cats. Me? I can’t stand them, even after living in a cat-filled manor for twelve very long years. My phone is currently filled with six thousand, one hundred and forty-two forwarded pictures of “OMG, SO ADORABLE!” kittens. Which is, of course, after I deleted seven thousand eight hundred and ninety-one pictures of teenage cats and four thousand three hundred and thirty-three pictures of fully grown cats. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I do regret having sisters.

One gloomy, the-sky-looking-like-it’s-about-to-rain day, I woke up to find an extremely fluffy, extremely white (you guessed it) cat staring at my face with its front paws comfortably resting on my shoulders. “SADIE!”, I yelled, shoving the cat as far away from me as possible. It landed on the ground with a surprised yelp, glared at me for a good long ten seconds, and walked away with its whiskers in the air. Cats.

My youngest elder sister Sadie burst inside my room with a concerned expression on her pretty face. “Have you hurt Snowy again? Answer me!”, she asked, throwing her brown hands up in exasperation.

“So that’s what that cat’s name is!” I said. “I have to add it to my ‘Throw It in The Dumpster’ list.”

Of course, I said that in my head, because if anyone heard me, I would be the one thrown in the dumpster. What I said out loud was, “Don’t be so melodramatic, Sadie. All I did was kick it outside the window and watch it fall for ten minutes, while I laughed villainously and plotted my revenge for all the other two hundred cats in our house.”

And Sadie actually believed me! She ran out of my room as fast as her legs could carry her, calling “Snowy! Snowy! What did she do to you?”. I laughed so hard, all the cats in the corridor got scared and ran away like my sister. (I really do have an awesome evil laugh)

After getting dressed, I dragged myself down the stairs, took a left turn, then a right turn, walked ten steps backwards, descended two flights of stairs, took three left turns and ended up in the laundry room. By now you can probably tell that I have an amazing memory, so don’t judge if I get lost in my eight-storied house.

“Argh, this is supposed to be the dining room!”, I scowled at the Siamese cat that was dumping piles of clothes into the washing machine. “Meeeooooow”, it said lazily. I had a horrible suspicion it was snickering at me. Like I said, cats.

It took me five hours twenty-four minutes and six seconds to reach the dining room, and by then, a cat was already serving lunch. “You’re late, Olivia”, my mother noted. Talk about understatement of the century.

“We should get a map of this place”, I grumbled, slouching in the chair between Katie and Miranda. Katie snorted, and said laughing, “There’s no difference. You’ll still find a way to get lost.” Sisters.

“Why isn’t your hair combed? And why do you have dark circles?”, my… let’s see… fourth eldest sister snapped. Then she went on and on about everything that was wrong about me, but I only paid attention when she finished. “Sorry, Lineda. I can never be as perfect as you”, I muttered. Flattering her usually got me out of more lectures, but this time Lineda scowled.

“I’m Karah”, she said through gritted teeth.

Was she? Whoops.

Luckily, I was saved by Sadie. Wait, scratch that. I got into more trouble because of Sadie. “Mom, Olivia threw Snowy out of the window and now I can’t find her. I’ve even checked her favourite spa room and she’s not there!”, wailed Sadie, her face blanch. This caused a colossal uproar that could probably be heard even by Russians.

“What? How could you, Olivia?”

‘Olivia, you’re the worst little sister ever!”

“What did Snowy ever do to you? Oh, the poor, poor dear!”

Everyone ran over to console a sobbing Sadie, while I stared after them with wide eyes. You don’t have to feel bad for me, dear reader. I get that all the time.

“You seriously believe that?”, I asked, hoping this was a dream. Sadly, it wasn’t. “YOU!”, twelve furious voices bellowed. I closed my eyes as they all lunged at me. I knew what was coming next, and I didn’t not want to see it. Or smell it.

Yup, you’re right. Five minutes later, I found myself sitting on a pile of garbage. I had been dumped in the dumpster like the trash I was sitting on. Life’s horrible that way.

I sighed sadly at a stray cat that was searching for food near me. “Now the only way to get back inside is to find Snowy and beg for forgiveness”, I said to it. “Have you ever heard of anything worse?” “Meeeooooow”, it said, looking so hungry and subdued that I almost felt bad for it. Almost.

I jumped down and tried to clean myself before heading into the street. The cars zoomed by in the Friday afternoon rush. I normally have school on Fridays, but last week a bunch of cats found their way into the premises and gave everyone an allergy, so our Principal ordered a week of holidays for sanitization. My grade had a test this week, and mysteriously around ten cats had disappeared from my house the day of the Allergy Outbreak. How mysterious, is it not?

Anyways, I walked in the sidewalk looking for a white coloured nuisance that astonishingly everyone loves. But there was no sign of Snowy anywhere in the fifty metre radius around our house.

“Hmm” I peered at the base of a giant tree. There was an extremely thin strand of white fur (or hair). There was only one old person in our street, who spent most of her time cooped up inside her home doing gymnastics and practicing long distance jumping. So, I came to a conclusion that this was definitely Snowy’s fur.

I craned my neck to get a good view of the branches of the tree, hoping to find that pesky cat and head back home (I was missing my favourite television show. It’s called ‘24/7 Dog Vs. Cats; the Ultimate Chase)

But sadly, the only things that were on the branches were the leaves, and leaves aren’t exactly helpful in these kinds of situations. My eyes searched the pathway for any other clues, and I was rewarded almost instantly. A series of muddy paw prints were leading down the simple cream pathway. There was a little bit of blue claw polish on the tip of every paw print. These had to be Snowy’s, as she was the only cat who preferred blue claw polish over pink. And I vaguely remembered her heading in the direction of the Cat Spa after she left my room this morning. She must have requested a Paw Manicure this morning, which meant that these prints were from when the polish was still wet…

I ran after them, and the cold wind made me shiver in my clothes. Great, even the wind was against me today.

The paw prints finally ended in the airport, which was only a half an hour walk from our house. I slowly crept inside, tip-toeing past the guards. Unfortunately for me, the airport was a colossal maze of endless twists and turns leading to various different countries, islands and secret underwater colonies. If Lady Luck was on my side, the best thing that could happen to me if I ventured inside was that I could end up in a mermaid city, where I’d stay until my parents realised that I was missing. The worst, you ask? I’d rather not imagine.

“Have you seen a fluffy white cat anywhere?”, I asked a nearby woman. She looked at me as if I had just come from a dumpster. “Non”, she snapped in French and walked away. I frantically looked around and just when I was about to give up, I saw a long white tail disappear around the corner of a hallway. My heart leapt and I chased after it. It was Snowy! I jumped up in joy, but immediately came back down. Argh, gravity is so overrated.

Snowy spotted me and started to run in the opposite direction. “Come back here!”, I chased after it. I ran for what seemed like hours, ducking and twisting out of people’s ways. At last, Snowy came to a stop, right in front of a giant aeroplane. My arms shot out as I bent to grab her. With a satisfied meow, she leapt onto the ramp and snuck into the aeroplane. I followed her, and came face to face with an air hostess.

“Where are your parents?”, she asked, looking concerned. Then she stared at me, summing up my pyjamas and dumpster smell, and her face shifted to an irritated expression. “Get off the plane this instant!”

Maybe she thought I was a homeless person, and was trying to get onto the flight without payment. I never came to know, because at that moment I ducked under her and ran into the cabin. Luckily, she got distracted by a complaining passenger before she could follow me.

I sat on the last seat, which was thankfully empty, and crouched down to see if Snowy was hiding under anyone’s legs. But all I could see was endless pairs of feet, and a few Adidas sneakers. One lady was even wearing what looked like teal bedroom slippers.

All of a sudden, the plane jerked and I was thrown backwards. Uh oh, I thought. The plane was taking off with me on it! I sat there for a few minutes, completely paralysed. When I finally gathered the strength to look outside through the window, I realized that we were flying over a plain grassland. The sight made me extremely dizzy, and I clutched the seat in front. Did I mention I was afraid of heights?

With a racing heart, I ran to the space at the end of the plane and a loud gasp escaped from my mouth. For Snowy was sitting on a box, fastening a parachute on her waist. She took no notice of me as she opened the door and jumped. “Meeeeeeoooooooow!”, I could hear her. What was that cat thinking?

I gulped and slowly grabbed a parachute. I could see the air hostess advancing near me, yelling in panic. Once the parachute was tightly secure, I shut my eyes tightly, and jumped off the aeroplane.

My first thought was, “THIS IS THE WORST IDEA YOU’VE EVER HAD, OLIVIA!” I could vaguely hear the air hostess’s frightened screaming, and when I looked down, I could see a pink parachute descending towards the grassland. It was a horrible feeling. The air watered my eyes and my hair slapped my face as if punishing me for doing this.

It was only after a few terrifying seconds that I realised something. I had to open my parachute! My sweaty palms gripped the first thing I could find and I pulled it. The parachute burst open, but I was a little too late. I was heading towards the ground at an alarming speed. The wind howled in my ears, I tried not to look at the sharp blades of grass that were becoming bigger every second. There was something yellow moving on the ground, but I was too terrified to care.

And now is the time when the main character of most normal stories wakes up, and realises that the whole string of events was a dream. But not in this one, because anything related to me is as abnormal as a dinosaur chasing a dodo in the middle of Paris.

I hit the ground with a loud thud, and miraculously, I survived! The reason for this was clear when I glanced at what I had landed on. What should have been grass was actually a cart filled with soft hay.

“Meeeow.” I looked down to see Snowy sitting near the cart. “You – you saved me?”, I stammered. Snowy did something that looked like a cat’s way of rolling one’s eyes. “Meow!”, she said, which probably meant, “Isn’t that obvious?”

I couldn’t believe it. This obnoxious animal saved me? I cautiously stretched out my hand and lifted Snowy. The feel of her fur on my skin was probably even worse than jumping off an aeroplane.

“Let’s go home”, I said, and stood up. My legs felt like strawberry jelly as I wobbled forward. I was just heading in the north direction when I heard the sound of an engine. I dropped both Snowy and my jaw at the sight in front of me. My family’s limo was approaching at top speed, and came to a screeching halt right in front of me and Snowy. The door opened and my mother and Sadie stepped out. They both ran to me, and my eyes filled with tears as I spread out my arms for a hug.

“Oh, I’ve missed you so much!”, Sadie and Mom said at the same time, throwing their arms around Snowy. Yes, you heard me right. For the second time that minute, my jaw dropped at the sight of Sadie and Mom hugging the cat. Seriously? What about the girl who was kicked out and had to jump out of a flying aeroplane to get a cat?

“Hello? I’m alive here, you know”, I grumbled. Mom merely glanced at me. “Oh, hello dear. Get into the car. We have to host a feast in honour of Snowy’s return!”

I sighed and did as my mom said. The next two hours was spent in watching Sadie strangle Snowy with hugs. “Sadie, how did you find us?”, I asked my sister. “Oh, it was no big deal”, she said, barely paying attention to me. “We met some French lady who said she saw a weird girl in pyjamas, and then we saw the news which said that Snowy and you had stolen two parachutes and jumped off the plane. It was easy from there.”

I was flabbergasted. “But, why did Snowy go to skydive in the first place?” Now Sadie looked at me like I was interrupting an important conversation. “She must have seen a skydiving show in the theatre, and must having wanted to do it. Snowy darling! You should have just told me!”

“Woah”, I breathed. “So that’s why she ran away from home? She’s even crazier than you!

When we reached home, everyone crowded around Snowy, while I changed into less disgusting clothes and took a very long bath. Today was one of the most extraordinary days of my life. As I sat on the bed, thinking, Snowy entered my bedroom. “What is it now?”, I asked. She simply said “Meow”, and suddenly my room was filled with every single cat in our house. “Out! Shoo!”, I yelled, standing in the corner of my bed where no cat could come near me.

All the cats held out their paws, in which they were grasping a parachute. Snowy looked at me haughtily and pointed at her parachute, as if saying, “Take us all out for skydiving, human!”

I sighed and called out for my sisters. Like I said, cats.